As long as I have been a lolita, and probably far longer, there has been a grand divide between people who feel that lolita is merely clothes, and people who feel that if one is a lolita, one must act a certain way (typically like a storybook Victorian princess).
The reality, in my opinion, is that it comes down to personal choice. For some people, lolita is only clothes, and for others, acting a certain way is part of the charm. Regardless of which school of thought is most appealing, all lolita should strive to a basic level of etiquette.
There are unwritten, and unspoken rules in the lolita community, and while following them may not necessarily bring you friends or recognition, failure to follow them does tend to annoy other lolita, and can harm one’s chances of fitting in to the community.
This series of guides looks at a variety of situations, and the general social rules that govern them inside of the western lolita community.
In the native Japanese lolita community, the etiquette can be quite different due to differences in cultural social norms, as such, a lolita in Japan may find this guide to be highly inaccurate.
Make a Promise to Yourself
Throughout the etiquette section of the guide you will find a number of boxes like this. Each one contains a personal challenge that you can try to complete to spread kindness, or grow your community.